So about five years ago I was cruising along on the road near my house that is a two lanes each way with a median and that deceptively feels like it should be 50 – 55 miles an hour and yet is a measly 45. The cops *love* this and frequently set up ridiculous speed traps all along the road and especially at areas where there are no lights or after large hills. After receiving my first and only ticket in years (I was going 58 in a 45 on THAT road) and watching the cop write out a ticket while I was in tears and my six month old was screaming in his car seat I vowed to never speed on that road again. So today when I was in front of Mr. BMW Busy Bee and he was riding right on my Odyssey’s tail pipe I secretly smiled knowing that more then likely, just ahead would be a speed trap. I calmly checked my speed (48 mph …good) and waited for him to get frustrated and go around me. Sure enough he whips around me, slams on the gas and uh oh….oh no…. what’s <screech> that? He slams on his brakes as the cops on the right side of the road hits their lights and the cop holding the radar gun starts walking into the center of the road. I smugly smile and think “dumbass” and slow down as the cop is motioning for us to stop. I think, “hmm, he’s just being safe because there is no way he’s pulling me over….” Then he motions to the guy to pull over on the left side into the turn lane (good….good.) THEN MOTIONS FOR ME TO PULL OVER.
OH HELL NO!
I pull over and here is the exact exchange that occurred:
Officer: Good morning ‘mam, how are you?
Me: Fine, how are you?
O: Going a little fast today?
M: No.
O: Well, I clocked you at 56 in a 45.
M: No, you didn’t.
O: Mam, the gun don’t lie, I clocked you.
M: Oh, I am aware the gun doesn’t lie, but you didn’t clock ME going 56.
O: How do you know that?
M: Because it’s true. See, I live about five minutes from this intersection and have for seven years now. About five years ago I became aware of this speed trap, when I got a ticket. I also know that you more then likely have another speed trap down the road, about four miles, at the intersection of blah and blah.
O: How do you know that we have one there too?
M: Because you ALWAYS do and after I got that ticket I swore to never speed on this road again.
O: How fast were you going?
M: 48-50, I travel this road at least twice a day, sometimes more, five days a week. I know how fast I was going.
O: Well that other guy was going 61 and you guys were right next to each other.
M: No, we weren’t.
O: Well when I clocked yo….
M: No. He was BEHIND me and I know you saw him fly past me…
O: Yes, ‘mam he definitely flew past you
M: Well before he flew past me, he was behind me riding my ass and then switching lanes and then accelerated until he saw you standing there. I knew you were going to be there because you ALWAYS are and I knew you’d be clocking because it isn’t raining.
O: Okay…
M: My point, Officer, is that you pointed at my car and clocked him at 56 while he was riding between the lanes to pass me, then when he got into the left lane, he was going 61, which I can see right there on the radar gun you keep showing me…
O: Well, it’s true that I clocked you and then him and then when I clocked you it showed you going a lot slower….
M: Well you and I both know that there is no way he could have flown pass me, as you say, with me simply going a measly 4 miles under him. So then it’s possible that you clocked him passing me since he was in my lane and the left hand lane as well?
O: Well, I guess it cou…..
M: Thanks for the warning, I’ll slow it down to 45.
O: Have a nice day ‘mam!
M: You too.
I truly have a lot of respect for anyone who serves our community, state, nation, country but it’s fair to admit that these speed traps are a pain in the ass. They set them up around blind corners, hide behind the bushes and catch people on a road that has barely any turn offs, is divided two lanes each way and that “feels” 55 mph! It’s only us locals who are aware of these and rarely ever get caught because these guys are there almost every single day it isn’t raining. There was no way I was going to take the blame for this jackass behind me. Regardless I got out of my FIRST TICKET EVER TODAY which begs the question… IS THE CURSE OVER?!
